Leah Looks at – Professional Farmer 2017

by | Jul 15, 2016 | Game Reviews, Uncategorized

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Professional Farmer 2017
Released: March 23, 2016
Publisher: United Independent Entertainment GmbH
Developer: VIS – Visual Imagination Software
MSRP: $19.99, Steam

System Requirements
OS: Windows Vista, 7, 8, 10
Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo Dualcore, AMD X2 Dualcore with 3.0 GHz
Memory: 4 GB RAM
Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 280, AMD Radeon HD 4870
DirectX: Version 9.0c
Storage: 5 GB available space
Sound Card: DirectX Soundcard

A charming and very competent addition to the daunting list of agricultural simulation games out there.

The game begins, granting you an ability to choose one of several avatars.

I chose a sheep, because some meanie conspiracy theorists have taken it upon themselves to call others a Sheeple for some reason.  That’s not very nice.  Warm wool in winter is nice, though.  I suppose I will try on that hat.  What a happy little sheep!! Look at its little sheepy smile.

I wonder what I would look like as a forementioned Sheeple. Would I have a fun little goofy sheepy smile too?

The tutorial begins with your middle-aged farmer character standing in what seems to be an empty lot surrounded with a tractor, various farming equipment, and related ephemera ready for you to drive.
Look at that beautiful tractor, a place has been prepared for me, indeed.

Being one to test the boundaries of the place that has been so dutifully prepared for me, I tried immediately to climb the highest mountain instead. Look at that rugged range, piercing the sky…
this farmer is no mountainclimber
I am not the best mountain climber.

A timely reminder that the game is built not for mountain climbing, but for farming. The quest to find the edge of my sandbox was easily completed, as the landscape is a bowl of sorts, you are in the center of a valley, surrounded by topography to form a sort of “natural” sandbox.
And if topography doesn’t do the trick, construction materials suggest otherwise.

walls of the sandbox

I am surrounded by walls of earth. Like my potential victims would have been, but as far as I can tell, I live in solitude. Am I being detained?  What lupine instincts are hidden behind the smile of our Sheepy avatar?

I shall take this opportunity not to stand up and live, but to sit in my tractor and farm. What is man, but an extension of his tractor?

Meadow of Contemplation

I gaze upon this silent meadow and contemplate the nature of the middle-aged farmer that I have become. My husband will be inconvenienced by the lifestyle changes and many sacrifices I have had to make to become the middle-aged farmer that now stands before you. Especially the beard thing, that may drive a wedge between us. Something, anyway. All that facial hair.

Did I grow weary of pushing keys and staring at a monotonous screen, manipulating data in a cubicle for the faceless entity spoken of in hushed circles, known as “The Man?”
Who is that man? Is it Me?
I resume the monotonous ritual of turning earth, not numbers, for none other than the one with two thumbs, This Man.

Oh, one other thing I do credit the game with, is now I can back up this tractor with ease.

Too bad it’s not a truck, I could say I CAN BACK THE TRUCK UP…
My driving instructor would be proud. Not the first one in Driver’s ed in high school, he just screamed at me a lot and I’m fairly certain he gave a couple of my friends PTSD.  However, I can now back up farming implements in this game with a much greater skill and accuracy than I can in real life.

Now it’s time to spread the slurry. What a sanitary term, slurry.

More like turdhammer, am I right
Zunhammer? More like TurdHammer, am I right?
I’m going to drop the TurdHammer all over this field.

Sadly, I can’t continue this review without quoting Thoreau.

“It would be better if there were but one inhabitant to a square mile, as where I live.”
— Walden

The environment skins are quite lovely, and I’m unable to decimate physics and blur the laws of the known universe with it as badly as with other agriculturally-based simulation games. I see other players have balked at the lack of cruise control when driving in a straight line at 40kph, and I have trouble remembering if other titles even have that capability. Cruise control?

I will give Professional Farmer 2017 a hearty handful of tentacles lifted to the skies above,
9/10 from this rambling enthusiast
The game delivers and functions as promised and there are no outstanding flaws that are dealbreakers to me.

Find the YouTube trailer here.

The developer recently contacted me to notify of the recent update that they have made.
Please find the following list of modifications that have been made to the existing program:

Taken directly from a press release issued this morning.  Minor edits have been made.

“UIG Entertainment offers a free Content Update to all Fans of the PC version including:


(They added a plethora of new tractors and some plows.) 

Points of Interest

Added biogas plant where grass, corn and canola can be sold

Added mill where wheat, rye and barley can be sold


Added leveling system with 6 special abilities upgradable in 5 steps each



Added overlays to inform about important events

Added acoustic warning for full containers when harvesting

Added acoustic warning on low fuel level

Birthrate of animals increased

Increased size of bales and bale press

The currently used tractor is marked by default within the machines menu

Field information is updated more precisely in the overview window

The map can now be opened directly by pressing ‘M’.”